Wednesday, January 22, 2014

12 Things A Nurse Would Say

Everyone knows a nurse...

Your mom's a nurse, her aunt's a nurse, and your sister's friend's brother's wife is a nurse.  You get the point. The population of nurses is large! Too bad the ratio of nurse to patients doesn't reflect this. What I'm trying to get at is with the abundance of nurses, you'd think at least one of them would let you in on a few nursing secrets, or honest thoughts almost every nurse thinks. I say almost every nurse loosely, because I don't like to presume to know more than I do. 

So! In my last post I revealed my age. In this post, I shall reveal my profession. 

I am indeed a nurse.

And here is a list of what *almost every* new nurse would verbalize if they could,

1. We sometimes have to Google your diagnosis to refresh our memory. I mean, how often does one take care of someone with Fregoli syndrome?

2. We don't like when your visitors stay the night, and have terribly smelly feet. Seriously, it gets hard to breathe in there.

3. The novice nurses may look young (because we are), but there is no need to question our care. In fact, we are fresh out of school, so up-to-date "best practice" is all we know.

4. We are too afraid to make a mistake, so we are very cautious and diligent in meeting all of our shift tasks. 

5. When you tell us your newborn's name, and that name is "Pinwheel," we are lying when we say we like your originality. 

6. Nothing you could do will gross us out. We have seen/heard/touched/smelled it all. 

7. We don't believe you when you say your pain is a 10 on a 1-10 scale if you are laughing with your visitors, and chatting on your cellphone. 

8. We honestly don't do what we do for the compensation. Nurses are severely underpaid for what they endure in a 12 hour shift, if I may be so bold. So if you're considering nursing school to earn a good living and hope work will be easy, think again. 

9. People have this idea that night shift workers sit around all night because their patients are sleeping, but nobody sleeps well in a hospital setting especially if they're extremely ill, or just had a baby!

10. We do what we do, because we love the people we come in contact with, and we love being an instrument to a medical team that seems more like a family.

11. Our bodies may take a beating over the years. I've come to terms with the fact that dark circles under my eyes are the norm, lower backaches are sure to come, spider veins may pop up before they should, and my hair may grey prematurely.

12. Social media is polluted with nurses describing their hardships, and expressing their pride. It's not like we have a desire for martyrdom, we just embrace the storm that comes with a rainbow.

Nurses can be some of the coolest, most genuine people you will ever meet. 
Talk to them. 
They have awesome stories!  

Sunday, January 12, 2014

If we were all honest...

If we were all honest, this life may not be so difficult to tolerate.

I'm talking the brutally honest things no one should say, but slip out when you've known the person you're speaking to for what seems like forever that it doesn't make a difference if they even listen. You know they're not going to leave due to something you say. They are where they have been for the last 8 years, at your side, like a real friend, and they don't mind your tangents about the people in the grocery store, or about your recent beau who just can't seem to get anything right.

This kind of relationship only develops from that pure, unadulterated honesty.

I yearn for that honesty...

the "Excuse me sir, you have a booger in your nose. Please clean it out before you continue discussing the barbarous medicinal care in the American Civil War."


the "Motherhood sucks! Why doesn't anyone talk of the pain in the ass child-rearing is?"

I've compiled a list of honest comments I've received over my 21 years of life. (yes, I am indeed only 21) To these people, I would like to say thank you. I understand most of you meant these comments to be darts wedged into my dainty being, but in my own little Katniss Everdeen fashion, I turned your oppressing mannerisms into fuel for a life that now flourishes. And to those who were simply being honest, because you too have learned this is the best way to live your life, well..keep it up!

1. "If you want to continue this relationship, you're going to have to change your personality."
It would be my pleasure to withdraw my caring soul from your presence now, thank you, unkind sir.

2. "People don't care about you for no reason. They need a reason to care. What can you give them in return for them caring? That's ultimately what they care about....themselves."

3. "You are a pretty self-absorbed individual. Have you ever thought of looking outside yourself? You'd probably be happier."

4. "Every guy watches porn!"
Although this statement is not true, it came from an honest man who tried to explain relationships are commonly infiltrated with porn and the women and men who are in denial are far worse off than the ones who acknowledge it for what it is.

5. "If that is all you'll be, you'll be a waste of time."
I'm almost certain everyone needs to hear this once in their life just as a little swift kick in the butt. So many people skim through life without direction or ambition. Do us all a favor, and get some.

6. "When you look to others for wisdom or advice on how to live your life, you are giving them authority over you."

7. "When it comes down to it, you're alone."

I don't share these things to be a Debby Downer, although I have been named one a time or two, I say these things to induce reflection.

Speak honestly and boldly,